


Mr. Collins' Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by kototyph



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Snark, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 16:38:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kototyph/pseuds/kototyph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
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	Mr. Collins' Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> " _Ma chère_ Mme. Cohen, lovely as always," comes Sebastian's louche purr. "I don't suppose your _patron_ is around, hmm? Could I speak with him?"

Lauren glances down. From his position on the floor, sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest and his chin on his folded arms, Misha gives her a narrow-eyed headshake.

"Sorry," she says insincerely. "Haven't seen him. You could try the Hallmark down the street, though, in case he's out sobbing over the— shite, don't hit me! Staff abuse!"

She dances back to avoid Misha's wild swings and Sebastian's familiar smirk appears over the edge of the marble countertop, leering down at him. "Ah, Misha! Still pouting, are we?"

"Get off my counter," Misha says grumpily.

"Still pouting," Lauren confirms, neatly sidestepping the kick Misha aims her way. "Oh, and they've been gone for a quarter of an hour. Just so you know."

"What?" Misha levers himself up and peers just over the lip of the counter, eyes warily scanning the coffeehouse interior. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lauren taps a finger to her lips. "Perhaps— only perhaps, mind you— it's because I think you're acting like a toddler who's had his binkie stolen? Only wait, sorry, there are two binkies and neither of them was yours to begin with!"

Sebastian cranes his head up to frown at her. " _Je m'excuse_ , a what? Blinkie?"

Lauren gives him the finger. "Fuck off, frog."

"I'm not pouting," Misha insists, climbing to his feet with the help of the cashier's stool.

"On the lamb, then?" Lauren asks. "Play hide and seek with your customers?"

"I'm investigating what the service industry feels like from a little person's perspective," Misha says with stiff dignity, dusting off his pants. "Incidentally, we should invest in a better stepladder."

"You know," Sebastian says, still slumped over the counter, "some might say avoidance is a coward's tactic. I would never, you understand, but it could be said."

Misha huffs out a breath and goes to the Racilio, which is really his only friend in life. It's never accused him of cowardice or regressing to infancy, only faithfully produced excellent espresso without stop for the better part of ten years. What's true friendship if not dependable and highly caffeinated?

"It's just..." Misha pauses to mull his words over and his hands go on without him, building a standard caffè latte, extra hot, extra foam, just the way Jared likes it. Fuck.

"So your mancrushes hooked up," Lauren says, stepping in to shove Sebastian back and rescue a plate of slightly squashed brownies. "So they appear deliriously happy together. So what? Congratulate them on the nice pull and get over yourself."

"I'm trying," Misha says plaintively, shoving the drink onto the counter. Sebastian snaps it up with barely a blink. "But they keep _coming here,_ and they keep _kissing_ , and they're all dewy-eyed and smiling and it's _awful_."

"Terrible," Lauren says dryly.

" _Horrible,"_ Sebastian adds, deadpan. "I can't abide dewy eyes."

"Exactly," Misha says, and while he wasn't paying attention he's made a matching americano for Jensen, fuck, _fuck_ , and Lauren plucks it out of his fingers before he can dump it down the sink.

"Poor Misha," she says, and for once she doesn't sound sarcastic. "Next time, be a little faster on the draw, yeah?"

"I do hate to fulfill stereotypes, but a phrase does occur," Sebastian says around a noisy slurp. " _Menage à trois_ , Misha. Have your cake and eat it too."

"I don't know if you noticed, but they're nauseatingly in love," Misha says gloomily. "A threesome is probably the last thing on their minds."

**Author's Note:**

> I need more fandom friends! Find me on [tumblr](http://kototyph.tumblr.com/) and [livejournal](http://kototyph.livejournal.com/).


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